Ditch the Pressure: Why Lowering Expectations Might Be the Best Thing You Ever Do for Your Golf Game
We’ve all been there – standing over the ball, heart pounding, mentally scripting the perfect shot. The expectation? A soaring drive straight down the middle, a crisp iron to the green, a clutch putt to seal the round. The reality? Well… sometimes it’s more like a shank, a duff, or a three-putt. And the frustration builds. But what if I told you the real problem wasn’t your swing, your technique, or even your nerves – it was your expectations?
In both golf and life, expectations often do more harm than good. They set an invisible bar that, when missed, makes us feel like failures. As a coach focused on mindset and resilience, I believe that lowering your expectations – yes, lowering them – can actually lead to better performance, more consistent results, and a far more enjoyable experience on the course.
This blog unpacks why letting go of expectations might be the most liberating thing you ever do, and how doing so can unlock new levels of calm, confidence, and clarity – both in golf and beyond.
Why Less Expectation = More Success
High expectations might sound like a positive – a sign of ambition, belief, and drive. But for most amateur golfers, and even for some pros, they’re actually a fast track to pressure, frustration, and poor decision-making.
Here are three key reasons why ditching your expectations can transform your game:
Less Pressure = More Freedom
Focusing on Process Over Outcome Builds Resilience
Enjoyment Drives Performance – Not the Other Way Around
Why do these have such an effect? Read on to explore each in more detail with some real-world examples and practical takeaways.
1. Less Pressure = More Freedom
When we step up to a shot expecting a perfect result, we introduce tension – mentally and physically. The body tightens, the swing shortens, and suddenly we’re no longer playing golf – we’re surviving it.
Take Rory McIlroy’s infamous 2011 Masters collapse. He went into the final round leading by four shots, but the weight of expectation saw him card an 80, tumbling out of contention. Just two months later, without that same burden, he stormed to a record-breaking win at the US Open. The difference? He played with freedom – not fear. A lesson he was able to grow from, in his most recent US Masters triumph.
This approach extends beyond the golf swing. The prime example of this is US Olympic Gymnast, Simone Biles in the 2021 Tokyo Olympics. Biles, the (undisputed) greatest gymnast of all time withdrew mid-competition to protect her mental health, citing overwhelming pressure and the “twisties”. Her bravery reminded the world: elite performance doesn’t happen under crushing expectations.
What this means for you: If world-class athletes crumble under pressure, what hope does the weekend golfer have when expecting perfection? Let go. Accept that golf is hard. Free yourself to swing, not survive.
2. Focusing on Process Over Outcome Builds Resilience
Lowering expectations isn’t about lowering standards – it’s about shifting your perspective and focus from outcomes (which you can’t fully control) to process (which you can).
Dr. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset, talks about the power of a growth mindset – the belief that effort and learning matter more than results. Golf rewards the same approach. It’s not about hitting every fairway; it’s about committing to your routine, your tempo, and your decision-making.
Look at Tiger Woods in his 2019 Masters win – not the dominance of his early 2000s, but a gritty, thoughtful performance based on patience and process. After years of injury and doubt, Tiger knew that control over his process was his greatest weapon. And it worked.
What this means for you: Instead of expecting a birdie, focus on making a confident swing. Instead of demanding a par save, focus on your pre-shot routine. Over time, this builds resilience – and resilience beats results every time.
3. Enjoyment Drives Performance – Not the Other Way Around
We often think that if we play well, we’ll enjoy it. But the reality is “if we enjoy it, we’re far more likely to play well”.
Golf is a mental game – perhaps the most mentally demanding of all sports. When we’re relaxed and having fun, we’re more present, more creative, and more adaptable. Think of Phil Mickelson winning the 2021 PGA Championship at 50 – smiling, joking with fans, and embracing the moment. He wasn’t weighed down by expectation. He was lifted by enjoyment.
Bestselling life coach authors, including Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now) often emphasise the importance of presence – of showing up fully in the moment without attaching to outcomes. It’s no coincidence that golfers who thrive are those who can stay present, not fixated on scorecards or swing thoughts.
What this means for you: Drop the scorecard. Embrace the walk. Laugh off the shank. The more joy you bring to the game, the more likely it is to bring you moments of magic in return.
How to Put It into Practice
So, how can you begin lowering your expectations and improving your game? Here are a few strategies to try:
Reframe your goals: Instead of saying “I need to par this hole,” say “I want to commit to my routine on each shot.”
Use ‘could’ instead of ‘should’: “I could make this putt” keeps the door open. “I should make this putt” adds pressure.
Celebrate effort: Did you swing freely, choose the right club, stick to your routine? That’s a win – no matter the result.
Compare less: You’re not Rory. You’re not your playing partner. You’re just you – and that’s enough.
Find your fun: Play with mates, set quirky challenges, enjoy the banter – golf should be a joy, not a judgment.
And remember – professional golfers train daily, with world-class support teams. Amateurs have jobs, families, and commitments. Don’t hold yourself to the same standards. That’s like expecting to run an Olympic sprint after a few jogs around the block – or attempting the Routeburn Track after a few rounds as prep.
Final Thoughts: Let Go and Play
Lowering expectations isn’t about giving up – it’s about showing up with less baggage. When we let go of the pressure to be perfect, we make space for growth, joy, and genuine progress. Whether you’re a scratch golfer or a social hacker, the secret to better golf might just be… expecting a little less.
Let’s play the game as it was meant to be played – freely, joyfully, and with curiosity. Because the only thing you should expect from golf… is that it’ll surprise you.
Want to Learn How to Play with Less Pressure and More Joy?
Book a mindset session or golf lesson with me today – and let’s start ditching those expectations, one swing at a time.
Head to tamiedurdincoaching.com.au to get started.